Thursday, July 31, 2008

Passion

Return of a New Person
Hey Everyone,

I know I have been gone for some time now. I have returned. Below is a summation of my journey in part and some in whole. I subtracted all excuses and external reasoning. There are many reasons why this story could have been different but God's will is just hard to explain sometimes, so I won't try to be the first to crack the code. I will give it to you straight, the same way God gave it to me. Feel my journey...

PASSION

Sarah does whatever she is asked to do, even when she doesn't want to do it.

Feeling miserable with her decision, she grumbles, complains and bursts out in emotional distress every so often because of her accumulated resentment. Although she feels suppressed, she finds it impossible to say, "No."

She is afraid that she may lose the admiration of her friends and family. She fears rejection. She believes their "love" for her is based solely on the prerequisite that she complies with their expectations for her life.

Her family members have gotten used to seeing Sarah in this role, and now they take it for granted that she will do anything they ask of her. Even though she complains, plays the role of the victim, and frequently declares that she will do no more, they do not hear her because her actions seldom follow her words. She suppresses her own passions and desires to please others before herself.

I walked a mile or two in Sarah’s shoes.

I first suppressed my passion in April 2005. In March 2005 I was working towards the completion of my undergraduate degree and I could clearly see the light at the end of the tunnel. I integrated many education courses into my curriculum, with the desire to be an educator. However, by the end of my journey, academic and social pressures completely dimmed my tunnel experience. What was once my back-up plan became my main course of action and I entered law school in August 2005.

Law school was a tumultuous ride, both academically and emotionally. Between September 2005 and July 2006, my health failed. During that same year, my mom was diagnosed with cancer and my grandmother, who also lived in our home, died of cancer. My grades suffered dramatically. I was academically dismissed from Wayne State Law School in July 2006. I begged for absolution due to my circumstances. They partially granted my request with conditions. I fought my way through, suppressing the urge to quit and start anew. I lost that battle but I was on the brink of winning a much more significant battle within myself. I was dismissed a second time from Wayne State University Law School in 2007.

I am now focused on pursuing a promising combination of my first loves in academia: sociology and teaching. Where that will lead me? I am not certain. My undergrad degree is in Sociology. Few fields are found to be relevant in research, theory, and application for such a wide range of disciplines. Sociological research is dynamic because it provides educators, planners, legislators, administrators, and business leaders, with rationale for the actions that they take.

Although I tutored and mentored students on a regular basis throughout high school and college, I was formerly introduced to teaching in the Breakthrough Collaborative program, also known as SummerBridge. As a teacher and a department head for this program I further cultivated my passion for education.

As an educator, a researcher, an author, an orator and an academic enthusiast, I will package sociological research into a user friendly model for people interested in resolving social problems and formulating public policy.

Admittedly, I am still young, but I have grown tremendously in the last two years. I have learned some important lessons, but most importantly, I have realized that walking away from law school and the callous culture of the legal profession is the first step in a long series of enhancements in my life. Furthering my education at Wayne State University will allow me to pursue a teaching career at the community college and university levels. It will also create a space to nurture my passion by developing my academic career in the social sciences. Ultimately, life has its despondent moments, but they are easier to handle when you are following your passion.

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Thanks for sharing with me as I take this journey.